I know that this is utterly futile, but I wish that young people will watch 45 Years. It’s not gonna happen because young people have little interest in movies about old people. But there’s much in 45 Years for folks in their 20s to consider as they build lifelong relationships.
It’s easy to say, “Be completely truthful and hide nothing from your partner”. And we’ve certainly seen enough examples (even in movies, too) about the corrosiveness of familial secrets and lies. But what about truths that are toxic and destructive?
45 Years also illustrates that you gotta live with your partner’s feelings whether justified, rational or not. Kate herself knows that she shouldn’t blame Geoff for something before he had met her, saying, “I can hardly be cross about something before we existed, could I?….Still…” Then there’s the question, not of what he did, but why he didn’t tell her. And 45 Years probes what happens when the assumptions in a relationship are rocked.
Finally, here’s some rare relationship advice from The Movie Gourmet that would have aided the characters in 45 Years: If you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question.