2013 at the Movies: biggest disappointments

THE RAMBLER

I don’t have a Worst Ten Movie list because, unlike professional critics, I don’t have to see every movie. I did see over 190 first-run movies this year, but I try REALLY, REALLY HARD to avoid the bad movies. So my worst movie going experience is usually either 1) on an airline flight when I see a movie that I normally wouldn’t; 2) a hyped art film that disastrously falls on its face and/or really pisses me off (The White Ribbon); or 3) something I find on cable TV while channel surfing (Paul Blart: Mall Cop). But usually, the culprit finds its way aboard a long airline flight. Not this year.

In the purely disappointing category, I was underwhelmed by the Coen Brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis, Pedro Almodovar’s I’m So Excited and The World’s End with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. I was expecting much more from those filmmakers.

Of course, Only God Forgives (from the director and star of Drive, which I really liked) was a red-hot mess – but I had caught wind of the buzz before I saw it, so I really wasn’t surprised.  Same with The Great Gatsby, which I could tell was a stinker from the trailer.  And I did walk out of the French film Rich Is the Wolf; it’s about a wife who watches hours of video of her husband to figure how and why he went missing  – but after 40 minutes, I realized that I didn’t care what happened to him or whether she would find out.

Notwithstanding all of the above, the clearly worst film that I saw in 2013 – and I’m talking epically, horrifically terrible – was Calvin Lee Reeder’s The Rambler. It’s a disjointed collection of shock pieces that turns from a tribute to David Lynch to an homage to Rob Zombie (if David Lynch and Rob Zombie were bad filmmakers).  In the low (I must say LOWEST) point, the Dermot Mulroney character dreams that he is strapped to a bed when a dummy dressed like an old hag plunges through the window above his head and vomits what looks like yellow paint on to his face and into his mouth. It is an extended vomit scene – 58 seconds (I timed it).

Finally, I re-watched the 1980 epic Heaven’s Gate, which had been the subject of much critical re-assessment this year – and it’s still epically bad.

Movies to See Right Now

Brit Marling in THE EAST

Best bets in theaters this weekend:

  • Before Midnight, the year’s best romance continuing the story of Ethan Hawke’s Jesse and Julie Delpy’s Celine from Before Sunrise and Before Sunset.
  • Stories We Tell, Sarah Polley’s brilliant documentary about discovering her family’s secrets; unfortunately, Stories We Tell is going to be hard to find in theaters this week, but well worth the trouble.
  • The absorbing and thought-provoking eco-terrorism thriller The East.
  • The Iceman is a solid true-life crime movie with an outstanding performance by Michael Shannon.
  • Mud, the gripping and thoughtful story of two Arkansas boys embarking on a secret adventure with a man hiding from the authorities – learning more than they expected about love and loyalty. Mud is also one of the best movies of 2013.
  • The documentary We Steal Secrets: The Story of WikiLeaks is Alex Gibney’s inside look at an improbable scandal.  It’s also available streaming from Amazon, Vudu, YouTube, Google Play and other VOD outlets.

Before Midnight, Stories We Tell and Mud are on my Best Movies of 2013 – So Far .

I like the unsentimental Western Dead Man’s Burden, available on DVD from Netflix and streaming from Amazon, Vudu and other VOD outlets.  Other good choices on VOD: 

PBS’ American Masters series is showing an endearing and insightful documentary Mel Brooks: Make a Noise.  PBS is also broadcasting the unexpectedly beautiful documentary Detropia, about the city of Detroit’s collapse and decay.

Also out right now in theaters:

    • Fast & Furious 6 has exciting chases, a silly story, a smoldering Michelle Rodriguez and a hard ass Gina Carano.
    • HBO’s Behind the Candelabra is familiar territory but entertaining, with Michael Douglas’ all-out re-creation of Liberace.
    • Kon-Tiki is a faithful, but underwhelming account of a true life 5,000 mile raft trip across the Pacific.
    • Don’t bother with Baz Luhrman’s flashy, hollow and lame The Great Gatsby. Re-read the Fitzgerald novel instead – it’s only 192 pages.

I haven’t yet seen the contemporary Shakespeare adaptation Much Ado About Nothing, which opens this weekend.  You can read descriptions and view trailers of upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

My DVD/Stream of the Week is the zombie romantic comedy Warm BodiesWarm Bodies is available on DVD from Netflix and Redbox and streaming from Amazon, iTunes, Vudu and other VOD outlets.

Tonight Turner Classic Movies brings on Czar of Noir Eddie Muller to present films from the novels of David Goodis: The Burglar, The Burglars, The Unfaithful, Shoot the Piano Player and Nightfall.  (You may have seen Goodis’ Dark Passage with Bogie and Bacall.)

Movies to See Right Now

Elisha Cook Jr. finds out that Humphrey Bogart is on to him in the 1941 version of THE MALTESE FALCON

There are two Must See movies in theaters this weekend:

  • Before Midnight, the year’s best romance continuing the story of Ethan Hawke’s Jesse and Julie Delpy’s Celine from Before Sunrise and Before Sunset.
  • Stories We Tell, Sarah Polley’s brilliant documentary about discovering her family’s secrets; unfortunately, Stories We Tell is going to be hard to find in theaters this week, but well worth the trouble.

Both films are on my Best Movies of 2013 – So Far .

The absorbing and thought-provoking eco-terrorism thriller The East is also opening today.

The other best bets in theaters include:

  • The Iceman is a solid true-life crime movie with an outstanding performance by Michael Shannon.
  • Mud, the gripping and thoughtful story of two Arkansas boys embarking on a secret adventure with a man hiding from the authorities – learning more than they expected about love and loyalty. Mud is also one of the best movies of 2013.

Also out right now:

  • HBO’s Behind the Candelabra is familar territory but entertaining, with Michael Douglas’ all-out re-creation of Liberace.
  • Kon-Tiki is a faithful, but underwhelming account of a true life 5,000 mile raft trip across the Pacific.
  • Don’t bother with Baz Luhrman’s flashy, hollow and lame The Great Gatsby.  Re-read the Fitzgerald novel instead – it’s only 192 pages.

The compelling documentary The Central Park Five from Ken Burns, et al, is available streaming from Amazon Instant and other VOD providers. Also available on VOD, Greetings from Tim Buckley is a film for those who want to see an actor depict interior conflict with very little external action. PBS is broadcasting the unexpectedly beautiful documentary Detropia, about the city of Detroit’s collapse and decay.

You can read descriptions and view trailers of upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

My DVD/Stream of the Week is the mobster showcase for Al Pacino, Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin, Stand Up GuysStand Up Guys is available on DVD from Netflix and Redbox and streaming from Vudu, Amazon and several other VOD outlets.

Tonight Turner Classic Movies kicks off its June film noir festival with guest host Eddie Muller (the Czar of Noir) presenting films from the novels of Dashiell Hammett: the 1931 and more famous 1941 versions of The Maltese Falcon, plus the 1936 version (Satan Met a Lady) and The Glass Key.

On June 11, TCM features two of the nastiest noirs:  Detour and The Hitchhiker.

Also, on June 9, TCM is broadcasting the award winning Crumb, the 1994 documentary about counterculture cartoonist Robert Crumb and his bizarrely dysfunctional family.

Movies to See Right Now

STORIES WE TELL

Stories We Tell, Sarah Polley’s brilliant documentary about discovering her family’s secrets, is an absolute Must See. It’s one of my Best Movies of 2013 – So Far .

The other best bets in theaters include:

  • Mud, the gripping and thoughtful story of two Arkansas boys embarking on a secret adventure with a man hiding from the authorities – learning more than they expected about love and loyalty. Mud is also one of the best movies of 2013.
  • The Iceman is a solid true-life crime movie with an outstanding performance by Michael Shannon.

Also out right now:

  • Kon-Tiki is a faithful, but underwhelming account of a true life 5,000 mile raft trip across the Pacific.
  • The Great Gatsby is flashy but hollow.  Re-read the novel instead.

The compelling documentary The Central Park Five from Ken Burns, et al, is available streaming from Amazon Instant and other VOD providers.  Available on VOD, Greetings from Tim Buckley is a film for those who want to see an actor depict interior conflict with very little external action.

You can read descriptions and view trailers of upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

You’ve got to get ready for next weekend’s release of the year’s best romance, Before Midnight. Therefore my DVD/Stream of the Week are its prequels, Before Sunrise and Before Sunset – director Richard Linklater’s two uncommonly authentic and intelligent romances with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.  Both Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are available on DVD from Netflix and streaming on VOD from Amazon , iTunes, Vudu and other VOD outlets.  Before Sunrise is free with Amazon Prime.

As usual for the Memorial Day weekend, Turner Classic Movies will be broadcasting a solid menu of war movies (almost all about WW II).  On May 25, the lineup centers around submarine movies:  Run Silent Run Deep, Torpedo Run, Thunder Afloat (which I haven’t seen) and Up Periscope. The most curious is 1933’s Hell Below, a rare WW I sub movie starring Walter Huston, in which Jimmy Durante boxes a kangeroo.  The best is Operation Pacific, with the great pairing of John Wayne and Patricia Neal.

The WW II classic that I can’t keep from watching is The Best Years of Our Lives.  A war ends, and it’s time to total up the sacrifices made by both those who fought and their loved ones, and to recognize how they have been changed by their experiences.  It’s on my list of Best Patriotic Movies.  TCM will broadcast The Best Years of Our Lives on Memorial Day, May 27.

The Great Gatsby: flashy, hollow and lame

Carey Mulligan, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire in THE GREAT GATSBY

Let’s start with director Baz Luhrman’s decision to present The Great Gatsby in 3D.  The source material, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel, is so compelling because it is character driven.  Luhrman’s 3D cannot enhance the characters, but can only augment wild car chases and zooming camera shots that zip us down skyscrapers and across bays.  So to use Gatsby as an excuse to launch some action sequences really misses the point of the story.  See The Movie Gourmet’s Ten Really Bad Movie Ideas.

Indeed, there’s lots of eye candy in Luhrman’s Gatsby, but to what effect?   The story seems set, not in the 1920s, but in a modern  1920s theme park where tourists waddle around chomping on churros while peering at flappers and Duesenbergs.

The story is about the Coolest Man in the World, the impenetrable Jay Gatsby, whose savoir faire, personal mystery and lifestyle splendor completely seduce his neighbor Nick Carraway, the story’s narrator.  Now you would think that putting Leonard DiCaprio in impeccably styled white and pastel pink suits would take you a long way toward Cool.  But this Gatsby is a little too anxious. And the screenplay dumbs down the story, and we learn too much about Gatsby’s real past too early and too easily.  Similarly, Tobey Maguire as Carraway brings a yippy dog energy to a character that should be more observant (like Sam Waterston’s laconic Nick in the 1974 Gatsby).

Gatsby, the acme of the self-made, is driven to at long last possess Daisy (Carey Mulligan), the girl who got away (and who is now married to the boorish jock Tom Buchanan).  The novel deeply explores Gatsby’s pursuit of Daisy.  Can someone with New Money penetrate the Old Money set?  Did Daisy really love Gatsby when they were younger, or was he just a girlish flirtation?  Does Daisy love Gatsby now, or is she just flattered by his captivation and impressed by his bling?  Can Daisy escape her class?  Can Gatsby’s success buy him everything that he needs and wants?

Sadly, Luhrman reduces The Great Gatsby into a sappy melodrama of obsessive love.  That’s kind of like turning The Sun Also Rises into a bullfight story or The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn into a river raft travelogue.  It doesn’t help that Carey Mulligan’s Daisy is more neurotic than fickle – and just not that sexually fascinating to begin with.

The one good thing about this movie is Elizabeth Debicki’s turn as the celebrity golfer and jaded party girl Jordan Baker – her every glance commands the screen.

Luhrman made lots of other choices in this adaptation.  Some work out (to my surprise, I didn’t mind the 21st century music) and some don’t (the odd and nakedly commercial casting of Bollywood star Amitabh Bachchan as Meyer Wolfsheim).  But the resulting totality is a hollow, somewhat vulgar misfire.  It’s the flashiest version of The Great Gatsby, but strangely not even as vivid as the written word.

In the novel, Daisy and Tom Buchanan are “careless” people – their Old Money has insulated them from the consequences of their selfishness and irresponsibility.  Fitzgerald describes them thus:

Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me. They possess and enjoy early, and it does something to them, makes them soft where we are hard, and cynical where we are trustful, in a way that, unless you were born rich, it is very difficult to understand. They think, deep in their hearts, that they are better than we are because we had to discover the compensations and refuges of life for ourselves. Even when they enter deep into our world or sink below us, they still think that they are better than we are. They are different.

The Great Gatsby is almost 2 1/2 hours long.  That means about four hours of your life, if you count driving to the theater, parking, buying popcorn beforehand and returning home afterward.  The novel is only 192 pages, so I strongly suggest that you take the four hours and read the glorious book instead.

Movies to See Right Now

 

Maika Monroe and Zac Efron in AT ANY PRICE

At Any Price is a thought-provoking psychological drama and a rare glimpse into modern corporate agriculture.   The Reluctant Fundamentalist offers a compelling performance by Riz Ahmed and a thriller ending, but holes in the story and the miscasting of Kate Hudson dim the effect.  Kon-Tiki is a faithful, but underwhelming account of a true life 5,000 mile raft trip across the Pacific.  The French In the House is clever, darkly funny and slightly creepy.

The best film in theaters now is the gripping and thoughtful Mud. Two Arkansas boys embark on a secret adventure with a man hiding from the authorities, and they learn more than they expected about love and loyalty. Mud is one of the best movies of 2013.

If you see the thought-provoking drama The Place Beyond the Pines with Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper, you’ll still be mulling it over days later.  I guarantee that you will enjoy the absolutely winning The Sapphires, a charmer about Australian Aboriginal teens forming a girl group to entertain troops in the Vietnam War.  Don’t overlook the heartwarming British indie The Angel’s Share about a hard luck guy’s struggle to turn his life around with unexpected help from some ultra-rare Scotch whisky.

The compelling documentary The Central Park Five from Ken Burns, et al, is available streaming from Amazon Instant and other VOD providers. Football fans should tune into ESPN’s 30 for 30 for Elway to Marino, an inside look at several astonishing stories from the 1983 NFL draft.

The dreadful-looking The Great Gatsby is opening this weekend.  You can read descriptions and view trailers of upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

My DVD/Stream of the Week is Shotgun Stories, the first triumph by Mud writer-director Jeff Nichols and the breakthrough film for actor Michael Shannon.  Shotgun Stories is available on DVD from Netflix and streaming from Netflix and iTunes.

On May 14, Turner Classic Movies will be broadcasting the 1947 film noir Kiss of Death, which introduced Richard Widmark as one of the most unforgettable screen villains – a nutty thug named Tommy Udo who chortles maniacally as he pushes an old lady in a wheelchair down the stairs to her demise.