In the ridiculous drama The Ashram, a sullen guy seeks his missing girlfriend and follows her trail to an ominous cult in a Himalayan ashram. When we finally meet the ancient guru, he turns out to be a real miracle-maker (as demonstrated by the cheesiest of special effects).
Here’s the biggest problem with The Ashram – it is populated by one-dimensional characters that we care little about. As an Ashram resident, Kal Penn is sympathetic, but it’s clear that his character’s only raison de etre is to be the Nice Guy. The leading man is Sam Keeley, who scowls his way through this story, occasionally adding in a furrowed brow.
The disappeared girlfriend shows up in flashbacks, played by the remarkably uncharismatic Hera Hilmar. Last year, Hilmar helped sink the execrable The Ottoman Lieutenant, proving to be boring even while losing her virginity to Michiel Huisman; she only sparked interest from the audience with unintentionally funny line misreadings. I left The Ashram thinking that Hilmar must have the worst showbiz agent to get her in such horrible films; but then I realized that she must have Hollywood’s BEST agent. Think about it.
But the worst thing about The Ashram is its misuse of the great Melissa Leo, who plays the guru’s gatekeeper and chief operating officer. Leo’s character ranges from unctuously evil to snarlingly evil,. Her performance brought to my mind the Disney villainesses Cruella Deville and the Evil Queen. Absent any hint of nuance, Leo is left to twirl her non-existent mustaches.
Director Ben Rekhi (from San Jose) gets two things right in The Ashram – the two perfectly evocative locations. The first is the city of Rishikesh, “Spiritualism Ground Zero” since the Beatles visited their guru there. Bisected by a river with a long pedestrian bridge, Rishikesh is filled with seekers searching for spiritual bless and lots of “holy men” willing to sell it to them. The Lourdes of the Indian subcontinent, it just screams “money changers in the temple”.
The second is the setting of the ashram, in a lush mountain valley at the confluence of two dramatic rivers. The guru’s cliff-side cave overlooks the ashram in the valley, and there are spectacular Himalayan landscapes in every direction.
The dark whodunit story here might work as Young Adult fiction with better special effects. But still, The Ashram is a wretched movie. I attended the world premiere of The Ashram at Cinequest. It is now available to stream from several platforms.