bad movies

Stream of the Week: AN AMERICAN HIPPIE IN ISRAEL – cult classic

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AN AMERICAN HIPPIE IN ISRAEL
AN AMERICAN HIPPIE IN ISRAEL

Occasionally I see a movie SO BAD that it’s entertaining and I add it to my Bad Movie Festival. The latest is An American Hippie in Israel from 1972, which is jaw-droppingly bad and unintentionally hilarious.  An American Hippie in Israel has it all – a dreadful screenplay, poor acting and shoddy production values.  Fortunately, Grindhouse Releasing rescued An American Hippie in Israel in 2013 so we can add it to the canon of cult classics.

After “bumming around Europe” an American hippie named Mike (Asher Tzarfati) decides to visit Israel. He walks out of the airport and hitches a ride with a young Israeli woman Elizabeth (Lilli Avidan) who has a large convertible. She also has a pad with shag carpet, on which they have sex. The sex happens when he utters the diatribe, “You fools, stop pushing buttons! You fools…fools…fools..” and she jumps him mid-harangue. I predict that, as more people see An American Hippie in Israel, the “fools” monologue will become as popular as the “She’s tearing me apart!” from The Room and “O my God!” from Troll 2.  (Part of the “fools speech” can be found at 2:47 of the trailer below.)

Mike and Elizabeth head out across Israel in the convertible and find local Israeli hippies with whom to smoke pot and dance awkwardly. Two more hippies join them on a road trip, the impressively homely Komo (Schmuel Wolf) and comely Françoise (Tsilla Karny). The last half of the movie is set on a rocky “island”, where the two couples, clad in swimsuits or less, camp out, have more sex and go survivalist.  Alas, then they get all “Lord of Flies” and it doesn’t end well.

There’s a fair amount of nudity in An American Hippie in Israel, and its cast is noteworthy for the most severe tan lines in cinema history.

AN AMERICAN HIPPIE IN ISRAEL
AN AMERICAN HIPPIE IN ISRAEL

The oddities include:

  • an opening credits sequence with a road roller that is mashing down the soil, for some never explained reason;
  • two murderous guys in black suits and top hats who have been following Mike around the world and pop up randomly; and
  • some floating objects that are supposed to pass for giant sharks.

But the perhaps An American Hippie in Israel’s moviemaking low-light is a dream sequence that is ACTED (not FILMED) in slo mo. In the dream, Mike is wielding an over-sized hammer to smash two giant computers (the early kind of mainframes with reels of tape) worn by human figures; the audience can tell that Tzarfati is running and swinging the hammer VERY slowly to ape the effects of slow motion photography.

Unsurprisingly, it was the only film credit for director and co-writer Amos Sefer. I saw American Hippie in Israel on Turner Classic Movies, but it is also available streaming from Amazon and Xbox Video. You can purchase the DVD and Blu-ray from Grindhouse Releasing.

2013 at the Movies: biggest disappointments

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THE RAMBLER

I don’t have a Worst Ten Movie list because, unlike professional critics, I don’t have to see every movie. I did see over 190 first-run movies this year, but I try REALLY, REALLY HARD to avoid the bad movies. So my worst movie going experience is usually either 1) on an airline flight when I see a movie that I normally wouldn’t; 2) a hyped art film that disastrously falls on its face and/or really pisses me off (The White Ribbon); or 3) something I find on cable TV while channel surfing (Paul Blart: Mall Cop). But usually, the culprit finds its way aboard a long airline flight. Not this year.

In the purely disappointing category, I was underwhelmed by the Coen Brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis, Pedro Almodovar’s I’m So Excited and The World’s End with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. I was expecting much more from those filmmakers.

Of course, Only God Forgives (from the director and star of Drive, which I really liked) was a red-hot mess – but I had caught wind of the buzz before I saw it, so I really wasn’t surprised.  Same with The Great Gatsby, which I could tell was a stinker from the trailer.  And I did walk out of the French film Rich Is the Wolf; it’s about a wife who watches hours of video of her husband to figure how and why he went missing  – but after 40 minutes, I realized that I didn’t care what happened to him or whether she would find out.

Notwithstanding all of the above, the clearly worst film that I saw in 2013 – and I’m talking epically, horrifically terrible – was Calvin Lee Reeder’s The Rambler. It’s a disjointed collection of shock pieces that turns from a tribute to David Lynch to an homage to Rob Zombie (if David Lynch and Rob Zombie were bad filmmakers).  In the low (I must say LOWEST) point, the Dermot Mulroney character dreams that he is strapped to a bed when a dummy dressed like an old hag plunges through the window above his head and vomits what looks like yellow paint on to his face and into his mouth. It is an extended vomit scene – 58 seconds (I timed it).

Finally, I re-watched the 1980 epic Heaven’s Gate, which had been the subject of much critical re-assessment this year – and it’s still epically bad.

DVD/Stream of the Week: Troll 2 and Best Worst Movie

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I love movies that are unintentionally hilarious – at once both undeniably bad and entertaining.  Troll 2 has recently gotten some buzz as the worst movie of all time”, largely because of Best Worst Movie, a 2009 documentary about how horrible and funny Troll 2 is.  It may not be the worst, but Troll 2 belongs in the conversation and has earned a place in my Bad Movie Festival.

A white bread suburban family vacations in the mountain village of Nilbog (“Goblin” spelled backwards, get it?) in which all the locals are vegetarian predator goblins who can take the form of regular humans.  The goblins are able to turn humans into vegetative matter (a green slime) that the goblins can ingest.

The movie was made with very primitive production values by a non-English speaking Italian crew and a non-Italian speaking Z-list American cast.  Inept acting and directing aside, the screenplay is probably the source of the most laughs.  There’s the dead grandpa Seth who keeps appearing to the boy, the boy’s saving his family by urinating on the family dinner, the make out scene so “hot” that it pops popcorn and so much more. Another of the funny aspects of Troll 2 is that it is completely unrelated to the movie Troll and has no trolls in it.

Troll 2 is available on Netflix Streaming.  You can see some of the finer bits of Troll 2 by doing a YouTube search for “You can’t piss on hospitality” and “Troll 2 O my God”.  Here’s the trailer.

 

As to Best Worst Movie, it’s very entertaining.  There are some squirmy scenes with cast members whose mental health issues have since worsened.  The Italian director is a jerk who, although happy to bask in Troll 2‘s new found cult status,  is narcissistically unwilling to acknowledge its badness.  But the goodhearted goofiness of star George Hardy, a cast of good sports and Troll 2‘s cult following dominates, and Best Worst Movie is fun to watch.  Best Worst Move is available on DVD.

The hilariously bad movie Troll 2 is available streaming on Amazon, iTunes and Vudu.  The documentary Best Worst Movie is available on DVD from Netflix and streaming on Amazon, iTunes and Vudu.

Movies to See Right Now

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Gael Garcia Bernal in NO

This week’s best movie in theaters is the suspenseful German historical drama Barbara.  In No, Gael Garcia Bernal stars as the regular guy who brainstormed the guerrilla advertising campaign that dethroned Chilean dictator Pinochet.  The Incredible Burt Wonderstone is a pleasant comedy and a showcase for Jim Carrey. I admire Steven Soderbergh’s psychological thriller Side Effects, starring Rooney Mara, Jude Law and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Emperor, with Tommy Lee Jones as Gen. Douglas MacArthur leading the American occupation of Japan, is historical but plodding.

I haven’t yet seen Walter Salles’ Jack Kerouac movie On the Road, which opens today, or Sunday’s HBO movie Phil Spector. You can read descriptions and view trailers of upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

My DVD/Stream of the week is the most under-appreciated Big Movie of 2012, Zero Dark Thirty, director Kathryn Bigelow’s inspired telling of the hunt for Bin Laden.

Turner Classic Movies is showing a couple of my guilty pleasures this week.  The 1958 Terror in a Texas Town is a lousy movie with an wonderfully implausible climax where the good guy (Sterling Hayden with a Swedish accent) take on a gunfighter with a harpoon.   An even worse movie, 1964’s The Outrage tried to remake Rashomon with a Mexican bandit – and landed Paul Newman the #8 spot on my list of Least Convincing Mexicans.

Stream of the Week: Troll 2 – really the worst movie?

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I love movies that are unintentionally hilarious – at once both undeniably bad and entertaining.  Troll 2 has recently gotten some buzz as the worst movie of all time”, largely because of Best Worst Movie, a 2009 documentary about how horrible and funny Troll 2 is.  It may not be the worst, but Troll 2 belongs in the conversation and has earned a place in my Bad Movie Festival.

A white bread suburban family vacations in the mountain village of Nilbog (“Goblin” spelled backwards, get it?) in which all the locals are vegetarian predator goblins who can take the form of regular humans.  The goblins are able to turn humans into vegetative matter (a green slime) that the goblins can ingest.

The movie was made with very primitive production values by a non-English speaking Italian crew and a non-Italian speaking Z-list American cast.  Inept acting and directing aside, the screenplay is probably the source of the most laughs.  There’s the dead grandpa Seth who keeps appearing to the boy, the boy’s saving his family by urinating on the family dinner, the make out scene so “hot” that it pops popcorn and so much more. Another of the funny aspects of Troll 2 is that it is completely unrelated to the movie Troll and has no trolls in it.

Troll 2 is available on Netflix Streaming.  You can see some of the finer bits of Troll 2 by doing a YouTube search for “You can’t piss on hospitality” and “Troll 2 O my God”.  Here’s the trailer.

 

As to Best Worst Movie, it’s very entertaining.  There are some squirmy scenes with cast members whose mental health issues have since worsened.  The Italian director is a jerk who, although happy to bask in Troll 2‘s new found cult status,  is narcissistically unwilling to acknowledge its badness.  But the goodhearted goofiness of star George Hardy, a cast of good sports and Troll 2‘s cult following dominates, and Best Worst Movie is fun to watch.  Best Worst Move is available on DVD.

Coming Up on TV: Hot Rods from Hell

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Dana Andrews and his innocent family

Here’s a guilty pleasure that has earned it way into my Bad Movie Festival and you can watch it on Turner Classic Movies on April 17.  In Hot Rods from Hell, Dana Andrews’ (!) innocent family is terrorized by two teen punks and a punkette in the Mojave.  This 1967 movie has the odd feel of a 1962 or even 1957 film.

Watch Dana Andrews asking himself why he is in this movie, 23 years after starring in Laura and The Ox-Bow Incident.

The terrorizing hot rodders

Coming up on TV: She Freak

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She's lookin' for trouble and she's gonna find it

Turner Classic Movies is airing a real guilty pleasure of mine on March 16:  She Freak from 1967.  A nasty and manipulative skank mistreats all the slimeballs in a carnival until they disfigure her and she becomes the unwilling monster star of the sideshow.  It’s fun to mock the lame-o acting, the dim dialogue and the low, low, low budget.

It’s also a time capsule – with real 1967 carnival crowds in Bakersfield, Sacramento and Los Angeles.   You may recognize the diner-in-the-middle-of-nowhere because it was filmed at Piru, California (look it up on a map), where at least 50 movies have been filmed.

Look for Bill McKinney  (famed for the infamous “Squeal like a pig” scene in Deliverance) as Steve St. John.

Happy 80th, Billy Jack

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Billy Jack (1971)

 

Tom Laughlin

Tom Laughlin, the groundbreaking independent film maker who created the 70s iconic character Billy Jack, turns 80 today. Laughlin originated the character in his biker exploitation movie Born Losers (1967), and then fully unleashed him in Billy Jack (1971), The Trial of Billy Jack (1974) and Billy Jack Goes to Washington (1977).

Billy Jack is a Vietnam vet who embraces his own combo of New Age mysticism and Native American spiritualism and uses martial arts to kick the crap out of the bad guys who bully women,  Native Americans and teenagers.  Laughlin played a character along similar themes in his The Master Gunfighter (1975), only bearded and wielding a samurai sword.

The prickly Laughlin made and distributed his films independently, and Billy Jack and Trial were huge box office successes, among the most financially successful indies ever.  For The Trial of Billy Jack, Laughlin engineered the then-unheard-of simultaneous release on 1500 screens.  This excellent Bill Gibron article in Pop Matters describes this precursor of the Hollywood blockbuster strategy.  Billy Jack was also the first widely seen martial arts movie in America.

Despite his innovations in the movie business, Laughlin never succeeded in making a good movie.  Filled with clumsy acting and hackneyed dialogue, the films are still pompous,  self-important and humorless.

Laughlin’s signature as a screenwriter is heavy-handedness.  It’s never enough for the bad guys in the Billy Jack movies to be bad.  They also have to be racist AND mean to animals AND sexually perverted.  Billy Jack opens with the bad guys illegally raiding an Indian reservation to steal a herd of wild mustangs and herd them to a corral where they will be shot at pointblank range to bring in six cents per pound as dog food.  One of the Billy Jack villains seduces a 13-year-old, insists on forcing a willing floozie at knifepoint and, for good measure, stakes a saintly teacher to the ground for a ritual rape.  In The Trial of Billy Jack, a government henchman shoots a child – in the back – while he is cradling a bunny.

I have a Bad Movie Festival that features unintentionally bad movies that are fun to watch and mock.  The Billy Jack movies are too painful for this list.  While bad enough, they are gratingly platitudinous.

Laughlin has been married since 1954 to his Billy Jack co-writer and co-star Delores Taylor.

DVD of the Week: The Trip

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It’s Roger Corman Week at The Movie Gourmet, but our DVD is NOT the just released Roger Corman’s Sci Fi Classics.  Instead, I’m going with an unintentionally hilarious movie that Corman himself directed, The Trip (1967).  It’s a time-capsule exploitation film written by Jack Nicholson.   TV director Peter Fonda decides to take LSD.  After buying acid from Dennis Hopper (there’s a stretch!), the plan is for Fonda to trip at his friend Bruce Dern’s house.  Now is it a good idea to entrust someone tripping for the first time to Bruce Dern?  Of course not!  Fonda wanders off and wall-bangs nightmarishly down Sunset Boulevard.  The DVD is available from Netflix.

The Trip is on my list of 10 Movies So Bad They Are Fun.